We Went to the Fair!

We call it the Orange Jubilee and we had a great time. I love to watch my little ones laughing, playing and enjoying life. Of course, they ate too much junk food and Alyssa got pretty tired out and over-excited but a good time was had by all. I ran into some old friends and was blessed by someone I did not know who gave us some free tickets for the rides.

It was a perfect sun-kissed day here in Northeast Ohio and I am glad to be alive. I thank God for my wonderful family and the wonderful blessings he has bestowed upon us.

Journey to Motherhood Part 4

My struggles to obey God in the matters of my vocation in life reminded me of the Biblical story of Sarah, Abraham's wife, and her efforts to produce an heir for her husband. God had promised to fulfill that desire of her heart. But could she just patiently wait for him to do so? Could she wait for God, he who had promised to be faithful? No. She had to take matters into her own hands and and have Abraham impregnate her maid instead. Her actions led to birth of Ishmael but Ishmael was not the heir that God intended. Sarah ended up with less than God's perfect plan for her life because she acted outside of God's timing. I was in danger of creating my own Ishmael as I waited for God to create a family for me.

I just praise God that before I stepped out and married the wrong man or even worse decided to have children out-of-wedlock, God stopped me long enough for me to put him in charge.

Approximately 1 month after my submission to God's will, I met my husband-to-be. Within one year we were married and within 2 years we had given birth to our first child, a son. I felt fulfilled beyond anything I could have imagined. I only get a slight twinge of regret when I think of how long I spent searching for something that was so easy to find with God's help. If only I had long ago let the Lord be my light and his word a lamp to my feet. Of course, I know that all things come together for good for those who love the Lord, even those things that the enemy may have meant for harm.

My regret never lasts long. Instead, I dedicate part of my life to sharing my story with younger women, many of whom have deep, hidden desires to "just" be a wife and mother but they feel too ashamed and confused to admit it. I validate their feelings and encourage them to seek the Lord as they plan their futures. I am thrilled when I see young women walking confidently into God's purposes for their lives.

Journey to Motherhood Part 3

This post continued from Journey to Motherhood Part 2 here. Read Journey to Motherhood Part 1 here.

I knew it was God's will for me to start a family. The very important missing piece, however, was a husband. I prayed and prayed for God to send me the "perfect husband". Nothing happened. I prayed some more for God to send me the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armor. Still no results. (well, no one appropriate anyway).

I became more assertive. I let everyone know that I was looking. I went on blind dates. I even tried the personals! With every date, I felt I was moving further and further away from finding a suitable marriage partner.

God seemed silent. "How could you set me up like this!" I cried out to God. He had flamed my fires of desire for starting a family and was encouraging me to become a wife and mother. How could he refuse to send me a husband? Disappointed and dejected, I finally did exactly what God had been waiting for me to do: I gave up and gave it to all to him. I fully surrendered all of my dreams of my idea of a perfect husband to him. I really completely gave up. I prayed "God, I have no idea what to do or where to go. Do what you will with me and my relationships. My worldly efforts have failed. You take over now."

God spoke into my heart that I had it all wrong. I had been focused on finding the husband who met all of my needs. I had completely ignored the fact that I was to provide something to my future husband as well. I had not even considered taking the time to be sure I was the woman that would make a ma a good wife. I was only focused on finding a good husband to supply my needs. God wanted to send me a husband and children not just for my happiness but for my spiritual growth in Christ.

My prayers changed. I prayed "Forget all the requirements I was looking for in a husband. I trust you Lord. You choose him and I will follow. Just give me the wisdom to recognize him when he comes and make me a good wife and mother. Send me a family that will challenge me to grow."

Journey to Motherhood- Part 2

I had a hard time accepting what God was trying to tell me. His message for me to embrace distinctly feminine roles was in direct opposition to the values that I held in my heart. I took feminist women's studies courses in college. I knew that it was taboo for a woman to think of her role as wife and mother as being important. In fact, most of my training was an attempt to ensure that I would not be "stuck" in such menial roles. I was taught that a woman had to know herself, live for herself only and reject all societal and religious notions of what a woman should resemble.

"But wait a minute here", I found myself saying. I had done all the right things and I still did not feel so great. Single, with no decent prospects and working up to 100 hours per week completing my medical training, I felt frustrated with my life. Professionally, I was accomplishing so much. That was supposed to be my fulfillment. Why was I still so miserable? Could it be possible that God was right, I stupidly wondered. Did I really need to become a wife and mother in order to be fulfilled?

I began to pray as I had not done regularly for some time. I prayed for God to show me what roles he wanted me to fulfill. I prayed that I would reduce so that he could become more in me. I prayed that I might submit myself to his will so that I might be led to the perfect place where he wanted me to bloom. Was I to remain single and childless or perhaps adopt? Was I to pursue a religious vocation such as becoming a nun? (Yes, I was serious about that- if it was in his will). After an intense period of silence, I began to feel a sense of peace. I still did not have an answer, but I did have a sense of peace. Once I relaxed and stopped trying to figure everything out, I felt that I had received my answer.

I was indeed being called to the roles of mother and wife. Okay, God, I hear you now and I accept what you are saying. There was only one thing still missing- a husband! Now how is God going to make this miracle happen, I wondered.

Mommy Wars

Sometimes, I wonder if the emphasis on Mommy Wars is overplayed by the media. I have met some stay-at-home moms that can not stand working moms and vice versa but that seems to be the exception.

I know many more stay-at-home moms that are willing to help a working mom with babysitting in a pinch and working moms who applaud the decision of moms who stay home.

What have your experiences been?

Journey to Motherhood- Part 1

I have had in on my heart to write about my experiences of becoming a wife and mother and how those experiences altered my relationship with God and were affected by my relationship with God. After writing out an extended updated version a few days ago, I felt unsure about posting it for 2 reasons: 1.I thought it was too long and 2.I was not sure that anyone would really want to read it. After all it is my very personal story, probably not very controversial or exciting.

But, I have felt the urging to post it. I have ignored it until today. Kim over at AHA commented that she liked my blog but she wished I would say more about my personal homeschool. I have been feeling more like sharing more of that as well but I feel my current life might be better presented against the backdrop of my former life.

So, here goes...

I found out the other day that a young person I know, a college graduate in her early twenties, was pregnant. She was somewhat hesitant to tell me as she was not planning this pregnancy because she does not feel ready for a baby. I started to remember how I was when I was in my twenties. I was so much like many of the young women I meet today. I was scared of the restrictions and losses that would accompany motherhood. I put it off. "I've got more important things to do right now-school, career, making money. Starting a family can wait." I reasoned. I did not consider any other way.

Yet at the same time, I spent my adult years searching. I was searching for peace, fulfillment, purpose and happiness. This quest occupied much of my time outside of my training and career. Underwhelmed by my church experiences after high school, I had become a sidelined Catholic, a fairly common occurrence. So to the New Age bookstores I fled, chasing after the latest, greatest fad that would fill me with what was missing.

You know what was missing? It was not Yoga or Gregorian chants. It was not creative visualization or Native American drumming. It was not wind chimes or deep breathing. The answer came as a shock to me. No, what was missing was the very thing I had learned was taboo for a modern woman to admit longing for- a commitment to serve those outside of myself by fulfilling the womanly roles of wife and mother that God designed me to excel in achieving.

What? Find fulfillment in service? Become happy by becoming a wife and mother? I was incredulous! I began finding my way back to the God of my childhood in my quest for clarity on this issue and the Truth I had been seeking. My Father in Heaven, who had never left me said "Yes my child. It is true what you have discovered. Now you know your true destiny."

Read more in my next post next time.

My New Blog

I have started a new blog at www.HomeschoolMomTips.blogspot.com My posts over there discuss issues in parenting and education with a focus on Christian homeschooling and other topics that may of be of interest to Christian families.

My husband and I have also launched a shop filled with homeschool apparel and accessories at The Homeschool Mom Store.

Soon, we will be launching a Christian products online store as well.

Meanwhile, Alyssa continues to teethe and Chase continues to want to stay up late.

Come by and check out my other site for news on daycares, kids and the Internet and abstinence education among other topics.

For you freelance writer mamas, I also have links to a market looking for writers (AssociatedContent.com) and a book review blog looking for reviewers.

I have "met" some great moms through my Homeschool Mom Tips blog so even if you are not homeschooling, come on by and visit.

I will still be updating Joyful Parent but not as often as I used to while we are getting our stores up and running.

It is good to be back.